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Trail of Tears: Part 2

Yes, this will be the continuation of a blog I wrote last year on my Facebook page. No, it does not make any reference to the historic and HORRIFIC Cherokee Trail of Tears in the 19th century. Just to clear the air…

As my wife and I were driving home the other day, we were listening to the popular listener-supported Air1 radio station. This was our anniversary of Mission Bay, San Diego. I had asked her to marry me on May 6, 2010, while we were sailing out on Mission Bay. As we were pulling into the driveway of our home, we were hearing a testimonial on the air that went something like this: a man had rented a U-Haul from a company where the manager had tuned every single radio station in every U-Haul truck in the lot to Air1. This gentleman started to leave the lot when a certain song came on. It caused him to return the keys 20 minutes later to confess that he was going to use the U-Haul to get his stuff from his house and leave his wife, but this song made him stop dead in his tracks, and go home to her to fix it. The song was “Ships in the Night” by Mat Kearney. The lyrics are as follows:

Like ships in the night, you keep passing me by. We're just wasting time trying to prove who's right. And if it all goes crashing into the sea, if it's just you and me trying to find the light…

 Like ships in the night letting cannon balls fly. Say what you mean and it turns to a fight.  Fist fly from my mouth as it turns south You're down the driveway... I'm on the couch Chasing your dreams since the violent 5th grade Trying to believe in your silent own way Cause we'll be ok... I'm not going away Like you watched at fourteen as it went down the drain And pops stayed the same and your moms moved away How many of our parents seem to make it anyway We're just fumbling through the grey  Trying find a heart that's not walking away

 Turn the lights down low Walk these halls alone We can feel so far from so close

 CHORUS

 And I'm at the airport waiting on a second plane  Had to pack and you had cramps and I was late  Headed to a red carpet they won't know my name  Riding in silence all that we wanna say About to board when you call on the phone  You say "I'm sorry. I'll be waiting at home"  Feels like we're learning this out on our own Trying to find a way down the road we don't know

 Turn the lights down low Walk these halls alone We can feel so far from so close

CHORUS

And I'm gonna find my way Back to your side

April and I starting sobbing in the car like we had just witnessed a funeral. And neither one of us cared who saw.

This is a somewhat testimonial, but I truly believe there is a point in men’s lives where we are truly broken at our very core. God reaches in and shatters our heart with one mighty blow of his breath…and we are transformed.

I am proud to say that this transformation in my life was in HIS time. I used to always wonder why I was the only person in this wash of Christian brothers and sisters that would go to church camp, and as we would part ways, I would be contained. I felt like my heart was truly hardened. Now, I am starting to understand that God had bigger plans and a different time for my tears to come. He waited until I was done with the military…and married to the woman he chose just for me. The more I understand what our Father did not have to do, but did, the more I grow closer to him with my tears. Just as a friend of mine, whom I shall call Clint Eastwood, broke into tears as he described how he met his pregnant wife. I choose Clint Eastwood as an oxymoron. This Hollywood star was, in my opinion today, a false depiction of a man. Heroes, REAL MEN, drive the fire trucks, ambulances and police cars every day. They get cursed out by simple-minded fools who don’t pull over for them in pursuit to save a life, and they disregard a policeman’s orders to stop for a proceeding line of cars on their way to the cemetery to bury a loved one. They are the ones who go overseas to the front lines to defend our way of life and we don’t even bother to support them by showing up at the polls when voting comes around. They are the ministers, teachers, stay-at-home moms, those who pick up our trash in the streets and on the side of the road, and those behind bars whose only wish is for their teenage son/daughter to see them be baptized and start a new life. I could go on and on, and I am about to feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I write. So, I will conclude with…so what do you say, men? You ready to cleanse your soul with some tears?

“We were warriors on the front line, standing unafraid. But now we are watchers on the side lines, while our families slip away. Where are you, men of courage? You were made for so much more!”

-Casting Crowns, “Courageous”




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